Originally Posted by
sillysquirrel 
So, you mentioned that he is going to outpatient treatment and seeing a counselor. Are these his choices? Or, is this a requirement imposed on him by the courts?
His choices. The only court requirement thus far (when the trial date comes who knows what they will impose) is no drinking while on bail and AH is the one who asked that this be left on as a condition.
Does he make enough money to pay the bills if you aren't working? I mean, if you choose to stay as he is suggesting, and you don't find another job, how will you make ends meet? If you leave, and he were to decide to come with you, what would he do for work....and would you be able to make it on your salary alone? Basically, who is the bigger breadwinner here?
We can't afford to live on either salary alone if we stay in our house. If the house is sold and I live in a cheap apt with the girls and he lives somewhere even cheaper or free then we can pay our bills. We both make the same give or take a few thousand $'s. If he comes to MA with me he has several job options that exist already (he grew up near there and has many connections). He wants to stay where we are bc he likes his job, his colleagues and the coaching he does.
I told him last night that if he wants to stay that's fine but I will be making a decision based on what is best for the girls and I, not just on my personal preference and I let him know that I found it very selfish that that's how he's making decisions but also said that his honesty was appreciated bc it helps me see things more clearly- and it does.