I am starting to get a picture of this for me, and this is just one facet, but it is really present in my life right now.
I feel like I am detaching when my RAH has a drama, a shift, a big idea, a plan, a relapse, a panic attack, an extremely loving moment, an enlightened understanding...
And I dont go up and down on his ride with him.
I kind of am on my own ride.
Used to be, if he had a bad day, or mood swing, I was so flimsy that I could have just won the lottery, and I would almost hand over my experience and take on his...
Or I would do the same, if I was feeling resentful, or untrusting, and he swelled up in love and smothered me, I would succumb, and just abandon how I was feeling moments before.
I am now, getting pretty darn good at just watching his ride, and saying, thats his ride.
And some days, he can call, or not, and I dont even look over at his ride, I just stay focused on mine.
I dont get derailed by his chaos, or dazzled by his calm. Or threatened by his progress, or fearful of his slipups. They are his, not my work.