Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
We HAVE been separated for about 2 months. He has been here at the house most afternoons for an hour or so to see the kids at the suggestion of their therapist. He is staying here right now bc of my weakness last night and giving in to manipulation. Prior to that he stayed here with our kids alone while I was in the hospital during the past week.
I might not be separated in the way that you or others feel is right but I am doing the best I can and I know that..
FWIW, I don't think anyone is judging you for doing separation "wrong." Having said that, him being at the house every day, and now staying there is not really much separation. And, to me, the point of separating is to get away from the other person, their behaviors, their crazy-making, their influence over your life, long enough to have some peace and clarity. And it appears to me you aren't getting that. So, whether you consider yourself "technically" separated or not, you aren't getting the benefit of separation. This is not me judging you, just noticing how it doesn't really seem to be benefiting you. It's absolutely your call and totally up to you how you want to do this, but personally, I would like to see you get some peace and clarity from it. That's all.
The real reason I posted, however, is to note that you seem to be equating moving/accepting the position with divorce. They are not one and the same, although I do understand how one
could lead to the other. But, try to remember, you are making a choice about the job, not about divorce. Maybe that will make it less complicated. HE seems to be the one making it about divorce. And, at least to me, that speaks volumes about him. I hope you don't let him manipulate you out of something good.
L