Originally Posted by
Thumper 
That is a hard one. Just remember that it isn't always black and white.
Make a choice that is going to be in your best interest. Just do the next right thing. You don't always have to be able to predict what that is going to mean in 6 months. That was so hard for me. Do the next right thing today. Tomorrow I'll do the next 'next right thing.' based on the information I have at the time.
Could moving be 'the end'. It could be, you'd have to be prepared for that. You aren't divorced until a judge signs a paper though so moving is not the same as divorcing. If he is in recovery, and he gets further in recovery, and if you have not nailed the door shut on the marriage, it is possible that he would eventually follow you there or you could move back. It is so hard to just do the right thing for today and let tomorrow take care of itself but when I started doing that, I became 'unstuck'.
ETA: I would get a quick consult in with a lawyer.
If it were just me and AH this would be a no brainer. I'd go. But there are kids involved. They have roots here, family here, friends here. If I pack them up and we leave it's not going to be a "well we can come back in 6 months if need be". It's going to be starting in new schools, finding a new home and a long term, permanent move.
I want to be able to provide for my children and this job is the only offer on the table right now (I will be paid thru Aug so it's not dire that I take something this second). For security and feeling like one thing in my life is in control I want to just take this job. But I guess I need to think about all the pieces of the puzzle...
I appreciate everyone's responses-- you're helping me think through this in ways I hadn't yet...