Am I Being Unreasonable?
My job has been 100% for sure cut for next year. In my state there are NO jobs in my field and I have received an offer from my old school in MA (that I LOVED!) to return there to teach.
Doing this would mean having to move the whole family. Or would mean me leaving and just going with my girls.
"R"AH (who I am have not committed to not wanting to stay married to- at least today) has told me that the options he sees as realistic are the following:
1. I move to MA alone, the girls stay with him.
2. We all stay in our state. (what I do for work, what we do about paying bills- who knows- but this means he keeps his job and stays right where he wants to be)
He says he will not consider moving bc it is not "appealing" to him.
I didn't realize that making decisions about what is necessary for our family during a financial crisis should be based on "appeal". Then again I don't "get" 99.9% of how he thinks (even sober).
What I wanted to say in response to the "not appealing" remark from him was...."Ummmm, losing my job is not appealing to me. Having an A/BPD H is not appealing to me. Teaching the subject I teach is not appealing to me but I've done it for the past few yrs bc it's where there were jobs. Living in the town I grew up in bc we came here for a failed business venture of yours is not appealing...." (you get the idea).
My H seems to think that life is about what feels good for him and seems totally unwilling to make sacrifices.
I seem to think that life is about being an adult and doing things that are necessary whether it's what you WANT to do or whether it's "appealing" or not.
If I'm being unreasonable and missing something that I should be considering here (he seems to think that his wants should be the top priority) please do tell me! (seriously).
What I am getting from what he is and isn't saying is that he wants to stay here, he doesn't want to compromise anything (big shock there) and I should find a way to stay here with out a job and still somehow be able to come up with money to keep our house and life the way we live (which is NOT extravagant at all).