Originally Posted by
julienamana 
absolutely agree! funny though some of it does work on my guy but it was mainly the changes I made in me, especially being direct, that works with any man because thats how they are made, most men just say whatever they have to say and dont worry about your feelings so they like it when women are like that too but with a little more caring on about how they are going to feel when you say it. Also the not being as available and showing them you have a life other than them seems to work too. But yes I would say most of it wont work with an alcoholic, my sponsor is trying it out on her recovering husband though and getting really great results
I agree that if you act less available and show men that you have your own life, that they find that attractive. My XABF loved when I did my own thing. However, the only reason he liked that was because he could go get as drunk as he wanted without me there nagging him. I think it also demonstrated to him that I was independent and in his sick and twisted mind, that suggested that I was strong and could take care of him and not need him too much. It actually enabled him more to drink because he felt "safe" like I would always pick up the pieces because I was acting so strong. So yeahhh, you really can't win with an A, even when you do the the independent thing.