Talked to BIL and he sounds perplexed but resigned. I think he's reached maximum tolerance level with her antics. And he assured me he will fight for those boys if she tries to run off to another state. I sure hope so - he's the more stable parent by far. I also had the chance to air my feelings about this and that I support his decisions and understand the position he is in. Poor guy - he just wants to make his family work and be healthy.
Interestingly enough, my RAH asked if my sister drinks? Said this story sounds a lot like other stories he hears in AA. It was all I could do to not point out his behavior and hers have been very similar in the past. I am going to believe instead that he knows this already and doesn't need to have that pointed out to him.
My sister is backing down a bit on her "I'm moving" stance...especially since my folks said they will not support this decision. And my Mom called BIL to let him know the family does not believe he is 100% of the problem and to offer support to him. I thought that was nice.
And today - I am setting this completely aside to focus on other things. I've said all I can say at this point and the rest is up to them. All of them. This is no longer my issue.
You all are awesome!