Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
I've thought for a long time that if I was decent enough it would at least help temper his nasty, manipulative behavior... But nothing I do seems to stop or quell his nonsense.
I stupidly spent the past hour trying to figure out what I could have done differently that might have stopped him from thinking the way he did and getting as manipulative as he did.
Guess I think I have that much power huh? Why does my brain go there and make me think that I EVER could do a thing to keep him from acting as he does...
This is what we do. It's as simple or as complex as that. Have you identified yourself as "codependent"? It is who we are.
The good news is we can change.
The beauty of the change, is that we can retain our tenderness and compassion, but do so without expectations of changing another person, or garnering their undying love or gratitude.