Thanks Stacylove- I am not feeling either brilliant or strong right now... I let myself get sucked in and didn't even see it coming. Seems each time I "figure" out how to avoid getting sucked in he comes up with a new level of weasel-i-ness (I'm thinking of creating my own dictionary of terms to describe A behavior).
Lateeda-
ASSumptions really are problematic aren't they?!
Ladybug- My AH does the talking down about me to the kids too... makes it my fault that he's gone and D5 actually asked me one night why I "made" Daddy leave. Real mature huh? Then when confronted he told me that D5 made that up or I did. Sure. I keep hoping that AH will take the separation as a time to focus on ourselves and get well and that's what I am trying to do and I have to just accept that he's going to be resentful and full of blame no matter what... Like you, I know that once the "welcome home Daddy" party ends and he is expected to "live life on life's terms" it will be same old same old. He is fine with that and I am not and he doesn't seem to "get" that status quo is NOT going to work anymore.
LexieCat- Outgunned in the manipulation dept is a perfect description!
zrx- well said... I like what you wrote and emailed it to myself as a reminder!