I have nothing against helping someone who is putting effort in themselves. If XABF wanted to get better, and was working a program, I would have stood by him and reminded him to call his sponsor, and all the rest. I tried all that while I was with him, but he didn't listen to me at all, so it was wasted effort.
I'm so glad I'm reading everyone's posts here! I was going to ask, 'does anyone have regrets about moving away from an alcoholic?' Your answers are here.
I'm moving out. He came and asked me to reconsider last night (I've been sleeping in the guest room for a week). But he was using almost the exact same phrases that I said to him a year ago: "Why are you insisting on doing this? Can't you see how much you're damaging the family? Is this the way you want your son to see you?" Heh. That last one got me.
In answer to the OP, the 'it wasn't so bad' thoughts that were creeping in were replaced by a strong visual image of my ABF 'sneaking' past my sleeping son at 6:30 in the morning, being led by the hand to bed after drinking all night again. That was 6 weeks ago. That's 'not so bad'. Except when I consider that I've done that over and over and over. Except that it IS that bad. And that was his normal drinking. Sometimes it got much, much worse.
- Sylvie, getting the keys tomorrow, moving on Saturday.