What an awesome thread, I can't thank everyone enough for the responses, especially from the A's. It helps so much the hear from the other side of the fence.
One of the alanon readings suggests we will be able to give understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic. I've battled with that ever since the first time I read it.
No contact is definitely the best way to go. As Outlaw's post said, we have to expect to return to the point of departure on a daily basis, but as long as we are still strong in our faith that it was the right thing to do, and that this is the ONLY way to do it, we can move past it without doubting ourselves. Man, it's like an A waking up every morning and telling themself that it wasn't that bad, and they can drink again. Even though the proof is in the pudding (posts, journal entries, bank statements, some even have physical scars to prove it), I still get that twinge of 'what if I wasn't encouraging and understanding enough'. And seeing an email or phone call just makes it worse, like an A pulling into the parking lot of a bar/liquor store, (I assume). No contact is for my own good, screw his good, but yes it is hard. I'm hoping it will fade in time. Coming here definitely helps.
I was absolutely addicted to him, and yes, how strange is it to only have me to worry about now. Even though I have plenty going on, I still find time to give him headspace.
I need to put some (ALL) of that faith I am so eager to give him ~~~ into myself.