When my XABF stopped by at work to try and "apologize"/trap me back into the relationship, the whole cycle went along the lines of:
"I'm doing all this work to get better, even though you're the real problem, and you keep hurting me but I'm still not drinking, and if you come back to me I'll give you one more chance because I'm such a great guy, even though you're an awful human being."
*blinks* Only an addict or a masochist would use logic like that.
And to think I used to fall for it! Because I wanted to believe I was the problem, because if I was the problem then maybe I could fix it.
But I wasn't the problem.
wanttobehealthy, you're doing great! Your space has allowed you to extract yourself from the insanity, and see the craziness behind his words.
You can stand up, and recognize that you're not the problem, and kindly but firmly hold your boundaries.
You are awesome!