KittyKitty.... interesting you bring this up about "helping" because I struggle with it myself. I am not anywhere close to understanding this stuff, but I can't help but think that if the A is finding recovery on his/her own that some support when they are having trouble is not okay. I get that if we are the reason they seek recovery it will not work, they have to want it for themselves. However once they do want it for them supporting them and being helpful seems reasonable. No? At this point since my AH is not anywhere close to trying to be in recovery (well he has tried for over 8 years now off and on but I think it was because I wanted him to) since he is actively drinking I have time to get this figured out. I pray that someday I will be lucky enough to get to the point of having to make this determination.
