thanks for some replies, it is nice to hear/read some view points, and think about it in different ways. You are all right, Kitty i was pretty dysfunctional in my relationship, i had OCD bad when it came to cleaning, i could not relax at all unless everything was picked up and spotless, now that he is gone that has changed completley, i mean i keep everything clean still but, i dont obsess and get stressed out about it. I think it was my way of controlling something, when i couldnt do anything about him, i dont know sounds crazy to me, but its all right there for me to see and feel. Im not looking for anything either, just happy to have my son, that is all i need right now. i like what you said TC999, thats is the kind of thing i never would have thought of that on my own, lol. about letting love shine. i have always been a quiet person, not exactly a social butterfly, so it still just amazes me how this site/board can help so much just by reading posts, i love it, thank you all. hope you have a great day
