Give yourself credit for what you have achieved so far, you are moving in the right direction, that's not always easy but you are doing it.
I read a book called Women Food and God recently, its about food addiction, but it could be about any addiction. One of the things she wrote struck me:
when I am willing to question and therefore feel whatever is there - terror, hatred, anger - with curiosity,
the feelings relax, because they are met with kindness and openness instead of resistance and rejection
She talks about being kind to yourself, which is something I hadn't thought of doing before. I like that idea. I thought I had to be hard on myself to achieve. She also says if you have a tough time doing this think back to yourself as a young child, you can be kind and gentle to that person.
Our bodies and minds are such curious things. I find it amazing that some chemical imbalance can make us feel like total s#*t. Like La Femme says I'm glad you are going to the doctor. Keep on posting Tyler, its good to hear from you