First off I really hope you are feeling better very soon. Health issues can be so scary and are not fun. Focus on you and take care of yourself the best you can. I'm not sure how old your kids are but I bet if you asked them for help ( to help themselves) you might be surprised at how much they can step up.
Now...WOW flash backs for me on your comments. The only time I have ever been really ill was while I was pregnant. I was one of those very unlucky women who had horrible sickness the whole time or most of the time I was pg. Life was very difficult for me. It is kind of like having motion sickness 24/7. I was SO disappointed in my AH during my pregnancies. The person I relied on to help me was our son (for pg 2 and 3). If I needed something I would ask him out of fear if I asked my AH I would get some grumpy response that would make me feel worse. Sex was difficult during those times but I did my very best, but yet it was NEVER good enough... there was no compassion from him AT ALL. Looking back I think he was at his peak of abuse during pg #2 and was just down right mean. Amazing what I thought I could get from him not knowing how sick he really was (is). Amazing what I allowed to him to do.
Hugs to you.. really hard accept who they are and who they are not.