I had similar questions....my therapist told me "you are confusing human traits with a very serious pathology"
This is addiction and in addiction the only one who ever "wins" is ALCOHOL... it takes everything from family, friends, the alcoholic and ultimately his or her life. This is just a fact.
And the difference between a bar and your home is that if he prefers to go to a bar you won't have to put up with him, and perhaps with his emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse.
Your home is your sacred place as anvilhead says. Alcohol is a huge precursor(sp?) of domestic violence. When I went to live with an ex Alkie he started to abuse me emotionally and it has taken a long time to recover from it... it was horrible to go to sleep in tears, or afraid he would "lose control" when I was in bed trying to sleep and him outside with his friend drinking until 8 AM... I wouldn't want you or anyone to go through something similar...
Please keep reading/posting, we are here to support each other...