Too Close to touch
Some posts I read over the weekend had to do with feeling so alone with our A partners. They reminded me of a poem I wrote to my AH a few years into the relationship. I thought I would share it with all of you.
I know you love me, because you are here.
But sometimes it seems that I can't get near.
You keep yourself just out of reach of me.
Although you are here, I can not see.
Your thoughts are not to be shared.
So how can I show you I care?
There's nothing so lonely as being with you.
When you are lost deep in thought, I can't break through.
The wall you put up, seemingly at will,
Is eventually sure to kill, the love I feel for you.
When all that I try to give is blocked at every turn.
It's only a matter of time before I learn,
To close myself off from you too.
Then we will be 2 people together, but alone with our thoughts.
The very notion of this hurts me so much.
Where are you? Why do you stay? When you can't even say
that you need me?
I've learned to live alone, be on my own.
While all the while you lie next to me.
In our bed, just out of reach.
And too close to touch.