I can feel the sadness in this.
I remember coming to this understanding about my AH before he went to treatment.
Everything he created to fill his time, was so empty, everything he told himself was so desperate. Everything he played at was so old.
I remember seeing his car at the bar, and thinking, "good Lord. Its 2pm. "
He speaks of that now as a prison. Only when he could actually see through the fog.
You are moving on.
You have CHOSEN LIFE>
You have CHOSEN LOVE JOY AND HAPPINESS for your children and for yourself!
You are strong and forgiveness for him will grow.