He is lucky if he remembers his name and what day it is, let alone a message he was to give me. (This must be the result of his excessive drinking all of these years.) She knows this...yet she still chooses to talk to him over me. Of course, if there is a family gathering and "R"AH forgets to tell me about it and the kids and I are somewhere else, it is ALWAYS my fault...and I am being snooty and unsocial....NEVER "R"AH's fault for not telling me.
The similarities are striking!!!!
The similarities really get closer and closer to one another. The "oh didn't "R"AH tell you x, y, z and when I say "ahhhh nope" the assumption is that of course he did and I am being passive aggressive and pretending not to know. In reality I simply don't get info bc he either chooses not to tell me or can't remember to tell me. Like you, it's always my fault.
I have to say though that thinking about this now I can look back on all the things, events, remarks etc... that I've let fester and upset me for years and kind of laugh-- not one bit of it was ever about me and I was really delusional to think that I had the kind of power they led me to think I did. If I had had that much power to ruin all of their happiness as I've been told I have, then I ought to have had the power to stop AH's drinking, right?!