Sprman
It is not a matter of not understanding.
This forum is the right place for you, because, truly, we do understand.
Many of us have been right where you are.
I think what is being put forth to you is a question:
Are you happy?
Is your life what you want it to be?
Is being with him worth not having the two things above?
If his alcoholism is the only thing that is causing problems in the relationship, but it is a major problem, and he DOES NOT WANT TO STOP...
then, I think the people in your life are posing the only real questions for you.
You cannot control him,
You cannot cure him,
You did not cause his addiction...
But you are not living a full life.
Enough that you have come here, to seek advice and help.
Is it worth it?
And if the answer to that question for you is yes, then most folks here will suggest you go to AL-anon to gain tools for coping with a loved ones alcoholism.
Because there are many many people here who still live with/deal with/love an active alcoholic.
Everyone is different,
But for me, losing the respect of friends and family, and even actually losing friends
this was somewhat of a red flag for me, back then.
I realized that I was willing to ematiate my own life, my own needs, my own self worth in order to have the love of a man who was unable to properly love and care for me, LET ALONE HIMSELF>
Please keep posting