Originally Posted by
ShiningStars 
Linkmeister, thanks for sharing that. I didn't see your post (or BobbyJ's) before I replied. I guess that's what I don't understand, how to detach with love vs. just plain detaching. I don't feel like I'm doing it with love, but I have to do it for myself and my kids. AH is such a liar and manipulator that I can't stand to be around him.
It's something I questioned (and still do) am I detaching or detaching with love?
A wise Al-Anon friend explained it to me this way: Detaching with love for the alcoholic yes, but detaching with love for yourself as well - and in your case, for your daughter.
You get to the point where it's time to focus on you, detach from the A, let is all go and put it into God's hands.