I had an idea while reading your answer, Shine -
maybe make a plan, the oft-bespoke 'plan'
we talk of so often here at SR ....
and let it become the 'living gift' to your daughter
for her 16th birthday?
My own idea of 'living amends'
came from all the people
who had died before I could get sober enough
to make an amends to them
or betwixt whom I had unfinished business.
So I made a list
(I know - shades of "My name is Earl)
and when I come across someone
who is in that position
on EITHER side
I do what I can to help.
And I do everything I possibly can
not to be the person I was under alcohol
to be better.. not 'well' just better.
That's living the amends, to me.
You could do the same ...er...sorta
but not an amends?
And gift that to your daughter...and to yourself.
(I mean, you were present that day as well)
*shrug*
just a thought?
Wonder what to call it....