You messed up?
How exactly did you mess up?
I think I am coming to a point where I refuse to beat myself up when I overreact or do stupid things in relation to the A because I am just trying to make sense out of a baffling situation.
You didn't mess up.
You are human and we may not always do things in a productive way but I'm sure you didn't walk into this relationship saying 'I love being involved with Alcoholics! Treat me as badly as you want to!'.
Go easy on yourself sometimes.