He might not be able to heal his life and let recovery take hold in the home with you, and that means YOU may notbe able to heal your pain and anger...with him there, and that may even mean, you have not even been able to put down the gun, throw down the shield, and feel out how much non reactive pain there is, whether it is surmountable or not.
You two are at each others throats with a lot of sniping, back and forth. It does sound like a physical space between you, and some time for BOTH could not do anything but help.
Im sorry its been so hard. BTW, your outburst doesnt even sound that rough, to me. Its just sounding like a part of you who feels she has been done too much injustice, and she kind of doesnt really WANT to try to trust or give him time. She sounds like she needs some space.
I dont think that is the least bit confusing, weird, or unfair on "her" part...