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Old 04-09-2011, 09:18 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
wanttobehealthy
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by sillysquirrel View Post
We have the same family! They are identical! Except my RAH doesn't have an older sister. His mother is the queen enabler, his father is an A, and his brother is an A. RAH is always looking for approval from his brother. For some reason, looks up to him, even though he is unemployed, divorced several times, and drunk daily.

MIL is supportive of me as long as I am playing the game and pretending to be happy in my marriage, something she has done her entire life and has taught her son that it is a "good" wife/mother's responsibility to do. For better or for worse, right? If I choose to distance myself from their dysfunction once in awhile and maybe go do something for myself while RAH has the children over at their house (the only time I get to myself...when he goes to his parents.....because his mother will watch the kids for him while he relaxes) she will give me the cold shoulder and not talk to me. They are sooooooo dysfunctional and yet my RAH thinks it is normal because it is all he knows.

I feel for you WTBH, it is a very difficult position to be in. I am so proud of you for standing up to you mil. I am sure my day will come.

Holy cow SS we DO have the same family! Except I won't let "R"AH take the girls to his parents house. It is a smoke infested nasty place and I don't trust them to not vilify me or screw with the girls emotions (my MIL and SIL were caught red handed by me about 2 yrs ago talking to my then 3 yr old D about how "mommy treats daddy" and that was the end of alone time with the in laws). They've proven that they want to suck my girls into believing the lies they all believe and make them a part of their dysfunction but I won't allow it.

Like you my MIL has pretended at times to be loving and pleasant toward me but it's always conditional upon how well I play along with the family expectations.

I feel SUCH freedom now that it is clear I won't ever play along again. Should've done this years ago!

To answer Barb's question- this has been about 10 yrs coming...
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