My husband is still an active A, so I don't know the feeling of being with a RAH just yet, but I pray that his upcoming rehab stay will change that (please God!!). I can only imagine how difficult it must be adjusting to the RAH vs the AH. I think that we as spouses or parents/children/partners/friends of active A's become somewhat accustomed to the lifestyle that the disease creates, and so we have to go through an adjustment, or recovery period ourselves once the A gets sober (or in recovery, whatever). It's bound to be difficult after being use to the AH. I personally think that it would be a wonderful idea for you to seek counseling yourself until you can go as a couple. Take care of yourself!
Hugs, Aimee