Boundaries for Dry Drunk?
I married a man in recovery almost 3 years ago. About two years ago, he started slipping into a dry drunk - manipulative, lying, insulting, unpredictable moods....the whole gamut. It's been difficult.
I've detached from getting into fights with him and try to ignore him when he gets out of hand. (I try to leave but sometimes I can't because I don't want one of my kids coming home alone to him.) With my kids he goes from being "great step-dad" to a real loser to them. I stand up for the kids and make my feelings clear - he has to have perfection in them and because they are not perfect, he sees them as lazy.....I told him a few months ago that I didn't want him calling them names - it was unacceptable.
He was sweet as pie for awhile. Last week, he got mad at them and said "I'm not allowed to call you lazy but that's what you are." AHHHGGGGG
I am always anxious when he is around...we used to have a great relationship. I've lost hope that he will change. Has anyone had success with a dry drunk changing their behavior? What kind of boundaries did you use? What else worked?
I'm torn - I've had it. I am deeply religious and wonder if I am a sinner for wanting out....