(((((Aimee)))))
Alcoholism can and does 'mimic' many other mental illnesses and there is really no way to diagnose, until the person is 'sober and clean' for at least 6 months.
At least any psych Dr worth their salt won't diagnose until the client is totally clean and that could be up to a year.
You won't know, he may have had a 'pre-existing' condition and has self medicated all these years, or the alcoholism had advanced far enough that he is mimicking one of several personality disorders.
More important how are you holding up with all the additional Quacking that is probably going on and the 'hemming and hawing' at the last minute?
No, you DO NOT focus on his sobriety, that is HIS JOB!
You didn't
CAUSE this.
You can't
CONTROL this.
You can't
CURE this.
Well anyway, I told him that all I asked was for him to never leave me here alone..that if he "needed" a drink to at least wake me up to go with him (he usually gets up before me)
Excuse me? You are not his 'warden' or his 'jailer', and you cannot continue to 'enable' this way. Your going with him, and then 'driving him home'? to protect him from a DUI maybe. Uh uh. Stay out of it please. Allow him please, whether he goes to 'rehab' or not, feel the consequences of his own actions.
You focus on YOU. Have you tried AlAnon yet? You can call the local AlAnon number and ask for a someone to give you a 'ride' to the meeting so you won't feel alone. Have you read "Co Dependent No More" by Melodie Beattie, it is very reasonable at Amazon.com?
As to him saying how scared he is you won't be there when he gets out, that is 'quacking' and manipulation.
If he goes, your are correct, spend some time with your friends, but start working on your own recovery from living with a practicing A.
J M H O
We are here for you, and remember we are with you in spirit.
Love and hugs,