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Old 04-07-2011, 11:39 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
StarCat
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
I am not going back to XABF.
In his case, he's abusive, and perpetually tweaks his budget trying to come up with ways to buy more stuff, rather than pay things off.

Even if he gets sober, he'll still be abusive.
Even if he gets sober, he'll still have no idea about monetary responsibility.

There's too much that needs fixing.
I don't want to be a part of that dance anymore.
I don't need verbal abuse in my life, and I don't need constant stress about how am I going to get money to put gas in his car, much less wondering how I am going to have some space to myself to think.

This "seeing beyond the alcoholism" is what convinced me it was time to let go of XABF.
It's not my job to fix him, and it's not my job to die beside him due to his poor decisions.
I don't want a martyr complex anymore. I just want a simple life.
If I had held on waiting for him to get sober, I'd still be there, miserable, and hanging on to dreams that would never happen.

Now I can go and accomplish my own dreams.
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