Originally Posted by
mum22cuties 
I finally filed once he got his 3rd dui. The dui was brought on because I told him I wanted a divorce.
This stood out to me, too.
Good for you for continuing through and filing.
It's
not your fault he got the DUI, you didn't shove the alcohol down his throat.
Sounds like you are carrying around a lot of guilt, and wondering if you did enough to try and save the marriage.
Something that helped me was to write down a list of all the things I had done to try and fix things, to try and let him know that I wasn't happy, to try and let him know that things weren't working and something had to change...
I didn't even finish the list, I filled a whole page, looked at all I had written, and decided that I really
did do enough, it was all listed out in black and white.
I also made an effort to write down his reactions to each attempt of mine, because they showed that he was not listening, he just did the bare minimum he could try keep me roped in. It wasn't because he loved me, it was because he didn't want to lose his enabler.
Try writing things out.
It really does help.
