With all due respect...
...this is virtually impossible to answer (when will it be safe?).
I will say this, however. I believe that unless you are also engaged in your own recovery, separate from his, in Alanon, counseling, or both, that it will never be safe.
The only reason my alcoholic wife and I remain together is because she is actively engaged in AA, and I am actively engaged in Alanon, and we practice the prinicpals of the programs in all of our affairs.
Just my 2 cents. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak