It goes on to state that we can clarify meaning by asking questions. That's what I did.
Yes, with 'normal' folks this is true. However, any question asked of an A in early recovery comes across as an accusation. They have lived in fear and guilt so long, that even though you don't think you were interrogating him, to him it felt like it. It would have to me also in early recovery. A's lie. It has been there 'mode of operating' for many years. Ask any police office who has done numerous DUI stops and when the person is asked how much they have had to drink the most often heard answer is 2. Not the 8, 10, 12 or whatever they really had, but 2. A's lie.
To tell him, like he was a child to be careful at his meeting was enabling. Why say anything. His actions, his consequences. If it was just the cold medicine, he is an adult and can explain to those that might inquire at his meeting.
I would strongly suggest that you get to AlAnon and also get and read, with a highlighter pen "Co Dependent No More" by Melodie Beattie. Then go back and write about what you highlighted. Then when done, read it again with a different colored highlighter and do the same thing again.
Even though you are living apart you are still trying to enable and control HIS recovery.
I do believe that you knew, as soon as you heard the slurring that he was drinking, and are still in some denial that it is happening again.
Maybe for both you and him, it might be a good idea to go No Contact for a few weeks and you continue to work on you and allow him to focus on his recovery.
I only say these things because I have been on both sides of this coin.
I was a practicing alcoholic for 24 years, found recovery in June of '81 and on my 3rd anniversary my AA sponsor strongly suggested I start attending AlAnon also, right away. I did so I have been in both programs, continuing to grow and change for quite a few years now.
Tomorrow, got back and read your original post and your responses as if it was someone else, with an open mind and see how you react. See what you would tell that stranger.
I understand that you still love this man, that you want him so badly to find recovery, but .................... stay out of it. This is one he has to do ON HIS OWN, and you have to work on you to change your ways also.
We are not here to 'beat' you down. We are here to share our Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) from our own personal experiences. We have all been where you are and many of us have done what you have done and with the help of others were able to see where our/my denial was still in force.
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,