Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
If you look back at each of these posts - and the hundreds and possibly thousands of these very same sentiments on this forum, and the stories in AL-Anon...these relationships could be so easily fixed and these men could get exactly what they wanted IF THEY CHANGE THEIR OWN APPROACH to it all. Take responsibility, make amends when you are wrong, pay attention to what others are saying, have compassion, put others' best interests first sometimes, find your own happiness, and on and on and on. All the things we do to take care of ourselves as grown-ups. Just do it. It's the easy road - the road to contentment. Imagine the energy spent on maintaining the lies, the anger, the blame, the facade. Then imagine putting that same amount of energy toward improving your family, relationships, career, health, etc. I don't understand the choice to go the hard way. Except that it protects the addiction and allows for future opportunities to go right back there.
Oh this made me remember... me, lol, I did not pay attention to what many others were saying about who I chose to be with... and I certainly didn't find my own happiness.... and didn't take care of myself either... and now that I am starting to do that, yes it is easier than I thought and it IS the road to contentment.... and I am starting to put energy to my own career, health etc and its certainly a much better use!! but I was doing all that as an addict to suffering and because I was used to feeling abandoned and worthless. How much better way to feel like that than going out with an alkie??