Originally Posted by
Alone22 
BUT what I am struggling the most with right now this is the intimacy/sex stuff. I do not want to be his pacifier and I am tired of feeling used. Just like those who posted here, what I get is the "nice guy" when he wants sex and if he doesn't get it ,I get the teenager who is angry and spews self centeredness. The in between times I get a detached lump who pays little attention to me, that is on edge and usually grumpy. So now that I am understanding more and more of what being a A does to relationships, how I have been a codie and how that affects things, and I want to end the merry go round, how am I to know what is genuine love and what is more of the same crap?
The thing is, you can never get inside someone elses head. So, you will never
know for sure what's going on between his ears. You can only go by what you want and need in a relationship. If you aren't getting what you want or need, then you can ask for it. But, that doesn't automatically mean you will get it. If you don't get it, then you have to decide whether to change your requirements, or change the relationship. Because changing
him to suit you is not an available option.
L