I completely agree with you. Drinking is my deal breaker. My RAH has not drank for 1.5 years. I always thought that was the problem and if only he would quit drinking, all would be good.
Well, it is not good. He is extremely self-centered, critical, mean and I could go on an on. Basically, he was a drunk a**hole, and now he's just an a**hole. I, too, am considering divorce. Even though my RAH is not drinking. I am just finding that I just don't like him.
Very sorry you are going through this. It is very difficult when you come to the realization that you have come to.