Old 04-06-2011, 01:13 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Tuffgirl
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
What really gets me today is hearing - again - the same behaviors from other women who are complete strangers to me. Baffling, this disease of alcoholism. Baffling that it turns people into this. Baffling that it warps the mind so much to protect the addiction, even after they stop drinking. The brain is still in "protect the addiction" mode for my RAH and its been close to 5 months sober (so he says). But he is still looking to scapegoat and blame in order to accept full responsibility for his own actions and choices.

I know alcoholism is tied to ego - and much of this is kind of behavior is ego-based...but what I will always wonder is why choose the hard way? If you look back at each of these posts - and the hundreds and possibly thousands of these very same sentiments on this forum, and the stories in AL-Anon...these relationships could be so easily fixed and these men could get exactly what they wanted IF THEY CHANGE THEIR OWN APPROACH to it all. Take responsibility, make amends when you are wrong, pay attention to what others are saying, have compassion, put others' best interests first sometimes, find your own happiness, and on and on and on. All the things we do to take care of ourselves as grown-ups. Just do it. It's the easy road - the road to contentment. Imagine the energy spent on maintaining the lies, the anger, the blame, the facade. Then imagine putting that same amount of energy toward improving your family, relationships, career, health, etc. I don't understand the choice to go the hard way. Except that it protects the addiction and allows for future opportunities to go right back there.

Insidious. Baffling. Insanity. Hurtful. Sad.
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