hey recycle
I thanked you for a post a few days back about how fear
It was a major aha for me, it's exactly what I do
I don't think you suck at planning things. I'm thinking possibly its related to what you wrote below...
"My self destructive actions (or in actions) are taken out of fear. Screwing something up is a good way to force something to happen without making a decision. I don't like this job/marriage/school so I don't apply myself. Time passes and the ca-ca hits the fan hits the ventilator and bang things change. Each and every time I have done this it is out of fear. Fear of taking responsibility. Fear of living life as if something actually depended on my actions."