The only comment I want to make is about children. My AW had 2 from her previous marriage to an AH. They had their struggles, and very nasty incidents with their father. From a base personality the oldest (girl) was always the perfect child. Her brother, from birth was a handful. When I entered the picture they were 12+9, and have had limited contact (occasional phone calls which stopped 10 years ago) with their biological father.
The oldest was fortunate and never had alcoholic tendencies. She has a wonderful marriage, great job, and 2 beautiful children.
The oldest boy, struggled, had enormous anger in him. Unfortunately he turned to drink then drugs. There were many years of pain, which we helped him through. He's almost 3 years sober and clean, has a new girlfriend, happy and the anger seems to be finally gone. Had the most open conversation with him ever the other day. Our relationship has been great for 10 years now.
Finally the 3rd of our children, my biological son, was brought up in a good home, other than my wifes drinking. It was stable, loving, and he had every opportunity, but he still fell victim to addiction. He is currently in a halfway house and doing great.
I guess my point is, do the best with your children, but there is no Ossie and Harriet homes. When it comes to substance abuse I firmly believe it's in the genes and nothing you can do will prevent addiction.
Always do what you believe is right, your children will adjust. There are bad kids from good homes, good kids from bad homes, one never knows..