LTD AND Anvilhead in ONE post! WOOHOO! Just like old times! (now, where's Bernadette??)
Putme, you've got the best of the best here, givin' ya GOLD!
I would add, I insisted if my AH JUST quit drinking (which I was sure he couldn't do), THEN things would make more sense.
Of course, he said he quit (I'm over 1000 miles away, so was he lying? God knows!), and then I realized...that isn't half my issue. That doesn't "fix" him! His anger, denial, lack of communication, drama, lack of apology, ad naseum.
Dang! We are asking them to change this or that, but the fact of the matter is, they don't work for us as THEY want to be.
Hugs.