DestinyM

Okay, I know I need to HALT - because I'm hungry, I haven't eaten at all today, I'm annoyed - my kids are acting crazy, I'm lonely - my AH or shall I say RAH is in rehab and I can't exactly talk to him and I'm tired - from working all day. But I need to at least vent and get some of this off my chest and outta me. My eldest daughter is staying with me. She's been here 3 weeks Sunday. She was locked up since Dec., caught up in a house raid with her BF where they ended up getting drug and animal cruelty charges. The police wrecked the house, which I own and left because I saw this coming and noone including my ACOA mother wouldn't listen to me about so I took my two youngest and got an apt. The house needs repair and no one can live there til its fixed. So now she's here. She's bipolar, has major anger issues and of course won't get treatment. She's been medication-resistant since her teenage years and she's now 22. She is acting really manic and talks way too fast and with my poor tired brain I feel like a computer with too much input. At least she's not smoking weed since she has to give a urinalysis weekly for pre-trial release.

Anyway, she comes in this evening and my youngest daughter, 18 is watching RuPaul's Drag Race, a show she loves and my eldest goes off on a tirade about how the world is being overrun by gay people and they need to go to another planet. Which then has my 18yr old in tears. Of course, the 22 yr old can't figure out what she's said to make her sister cry. I'm just trying to cook so I can eat. Then my 22yr old starts talking to me about the guys she's been meeting and talking to and how there all lames and clowns compared to her BF who is still locked up. My attitude why are you talking to other guys and creating what may invariably become drama once her BF is released, but you can't tell her that - she's got it under control. The same thing I heard about the drugs and the dogs around the house. Did I mention she had 4 wine coolers and actually thought nothing of it? Like that's normal activity for a Monday night.

I'm trying to stay detached in the midst of the chaos. I made an appt for a therapist for my 18yr old since she seems to be depressed or anxious or something. She graduated last June and can't seem to find the drive to go to school or work but is weighing over 200 lbs on a 5ft frame, sleeps most days and thinks having 600+ Facebook friends is great. My 22 yr old has been "trying" to fix up the house but since she lost her job with her legal problems she has to depend on her BF brothers for money. I refuse to spend a dime on it as like I said I warned her and my mother and told them I was washing my hands of the house last year when I left. My mother's name is on the house so let them figure this out.

I'm just trying to hold on to my sanity thru all this. Trying to prepare for the inevitable release of my RAH from rehab in the coming week and the issues I'm sure that will bring. The good thing about that is at least he's not coming here to live once released.

Thanks for letting me share.