Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
But, are you really giving up on "him," or the idea you have of who he "should be?"
This is an incredibly important distinction -- and yes, LTD is the master at getting to the core issues. We love her.
Did you see the thread I started yesterday (?) called The Skill of Radical Acceptance?
Maybe if you work it from LaTeeDa's perspective, and work on what you are willing to accept in your life and what you are not, then you can get some traction for the next step.
Here's another gem that's helped me:
Expectations are just Resentments waiting to happen. How true is THAT?
Acceptance, living in the moment, release of judgements and expectations, forgiveness, detachment.... oh, what hard work it is!!!! But the payoff is huge.