Hi Startover,
I'm echoing the sentiments of others here-the hardest decisions to make are often the right ones, like leaving your ABF.
I made that hard decision a couple of weeks ago, after being together for three years. While there were lots of good times, there were also some pretty horrible times, all revolving around his binging, my insane behavior during those binges, recriminations, apologies and starting the cycle all over again. I still love him, I miss him, but know that the toxicity of our relationship was not good for me.
Al-Anon and SR helped me in so many ways-first and foremost, to realize that I wasn't alone in the way I reacted and felt.
Your friends and family may not understand what you are going through (not that it matters) but we do, we have all been there, or are there and can offer E(xperience), S(trength) and H(ope) to help you through the hard times.
Keep posting, keep reading, keep going to Al-Anon, keep the focus on you, not him and take things one day, one hour and if necessary, one minute at a time.
Hugs coming from me and my puppy to you......