One thing I have learned from my experience is that the hardest thing of all is to make the decision on your own to leave a toxic relationship, especially leaving one where the other party thinks everything is fine, fine, fine and if only you would (fill in the blank here with your own words) then everything would be just fine, fine, fine. If there is one theme that regularly runs through all of these posts, its the self doubt. I found validation in Al-Anon and here on SR... something I really couldn't get from anyone else except for those who had been through this very thing in their own lives. I truly felt insane...but not anymore. I can read my story is everyone else's and that is such a comforting feeling...it wasn't me after all...it is alcoholism and addiction.
Welcome and keep coming back.
~T