I would love to respond to each one of you individually but my energy level is at a -0 right now. I'm sorry. I hope you all forgive me for that. He has tried to kill himself before...well, I say that but what happened was him taking a knife to his throat and acting like he was going to slit it (he was drunk naturally). I called 911 while his mother bitched me out. Cops came and took him to a crisis place. About 2 hours later the cop brings him back home and a woman from the center that he was taken to came here too. They said that the mental facility had no beds available and they asked me to sign a "no suicide" slip. I had to "watch" him for 48 hours according to the slip. So, I did. That was a hell of a day. Most days are like that anymore. I assume he is just saying he will kill himself. I don't feel unsafe around him really, I just feel numb anymore. I am going to look at the stickies and search around for good books to read on this. As for leaving, I definitely want to go, but I don't want to. I keep holding on to hope and I keep praying. He has the job interview tomorrow morning, and I keep thinking that will possibly help, but I know in the back of my mind that it won't. You all are a God send. I'm so sorry for anyone who goes through this..it just isn't fair at all, but I know we are not promised an easy life. Oh, and I do have a place to go, but I just don't want to drag my mom and dad in the middle of this...it's not fair to them. I try my hardest to stay silent about it all, but it's not easy to do. I'm rambling again, my mind feels like a bowl of jello. **Hugs** to everyone and God bless each of you.