What a painful place to be in ... it is a heartbreaking situation. I agree with Tuffgirl: call to say you love her. But then bow out, because there is nothing you -- or anyone -- can say or do at this point. No one knows what the outcome will be. If you faith in god, it's a good idea to pray. Anyone you can talk to, a pastor/priest or therapist? In order to be there for her you must heal as well, take good care of yourself.
God bless.