jamaicamecrazy

I have had more contact with my AH in the last month than in the last year. He has shared some things with me that make me think he has had some self awareness and that he is seeing his problems more clearly. But I think he is a long way off from doing anything about it.
My SIL is a RA and the family has been going through a rough time because of the recent death of their dad.
When we have the memorial service she wants to talk to my husband and tell him what she sees as a person who has "been there, done that"
I don't think he will listen. He will see her as the bossy older sister trying to tell him what to do, not the caring sister who has been through most of what he is going through.
I suggested that maybe she could get another person, preferably male, from AA to talk to him. Maybe my AH will be more open to listening to a more objective opinion.
I would love to talk to him more about where I am at this stage of the game but I don't think he would be listening with an open heart, it would be selfish of me as this is my need to be heard, and I don't think it would make a difference-do I want it to make a difference? Is this just me manipulating him?
I figure that whatever my SIL wants to do is out of my hands. She will do what she thinks she should.
I should just keep my mouth shut.
Right?

Questions:
Has anyone had another RA talk to their A? Is that something that is done?
Not an intervention per se but someone who can be brutally honest. Especially when the A is admitting that they know they have a problem but perhaps is too scared to make the next step.

Is it unfair for me to want to talk to him? We have always had great conversations about many hard core topics but I have not spoken to him very much about his drinking. If I did, would this come under the trying to control it category and contributing to his problem?
He shares things with me when he is ready. I cannot ask questions.
Should I wait for our next conversation and bring it up? Or see if he asks questions of me and simply respond to them?

Or should I just not answer the phone?

I know it sounds like I am asking for someone to tell me what to do.
But I also know many folks here have some wonderful insights and their wisdom has helped me work things our in my head.

I know I have spent too much time this lovely day pondering this.

I am going outside for a walk and then to do some yard work.