It's gotten worse
I didn't think it could get any worse than it has, but it is.
In my first post I wrote how she had made terrible choices in men this last year. The 1st one took her for 59,000 dollars. The next one has spent her money and he almost killed her. He beat her and tortured her so badly that she was unrecognizable. He plead guilty and is to be sentenced next week. He has been in jail awaiting her sentencing for 5 months. The charge was attempted murder, he has 4 prior convictions of abuse against women. He has already served 7 out of the last 10 years for beating women. He put one in a coma. This is a very very bad man. I just want to make that clear, this was horriffic what he did.
She still loves him. She somehow came up with 3,000 dollars to bail him out. It has been a nightmare. The county attorney is furious. He is watching her house. She cannot see her kids, because they think he might try to kill them. Her ex already has them, but she is not allowed anywhere near them as long as he is free. All her friends have left her when they found out what she has done. They all told her they were done. Her ex told her that he was going to court for full permanent custody. She just doesn't seem to care. She says she is in love, they are soul mates and that she is going to stand by him for 18 years. Marry him, etc. etc.
I think I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I don't even care about her losing her home and business anymore. She is so far gone that there is nothing I can do about it anyway. I gave her 13,000 dollars in the last 6 months trying to keep her afloat after all her bad choices and giving her money away to losers. I will never see that back. And it puts me in financial problems, but I will survive it. As I said, I know she is going to lose everything, but I still love her. I know I cannot help her. I am trying so hard to just let it go whereever it goes. There is nothing I can do to change her mind.
Yesterday, it got really ugly between us. I said some horrible things to her. I know she is mentally unstable. I know she has talked about suicide. Of course right now she is in heaven because he is out and they are together.
Anyway even knowing how unstable she is I said these things to her:
I am embarrased you are my daughter. I used to be so proud of you. Now it is hard to hold my head up when I am out in public.
Don't ever come to me again for anything. I am done.
I will never be ok with this, or you being with him. NEVER
What do you want for your funeral? Cremation or burial, a full funeral, or a private service? Because he will kill you next time, he is a violent criminal and con man.
How can you do this to your beautiful little girls.. How can you abandon them?
I don't even remember what else was said. She gave excuses, was defiant, just doesn't get that what she is doing is wrong, and very dangerous.
I don't know what to do. She called me 5 times yesterday telling me how much she loved me and that she wasn't doing this to hurt me or anyone. That she just loved him, they were soul mates and that she was happy. She swears they will never drink. All the beatings took place when he was extremely drunk, high or both. He has been diagnosed as mentally ill and was on meds in prison for it, but is not, nor has been on meds for over a year.
How do I handle this. I love her, I will always love her. We were so close, she always said I was her best friend. This last year has been hell. She is not even close to the beautiful young woman that I used to know.
How do I walk away from her? What do I say to her? Was I too rough with the things I said? I was so angry, but I feel guilty today for being so mean to her yesterday.
Help me to understand. Help me to handle this the right way. Tough love, is that what I am doing now. If they drink this weekend, he will probably kill her. He has beaten her so many times prior to the torture and trying to kill her. Detachment, I am trying. I am just sick to my stomach and think I am
going to puke. The sheriff told me they were expecting to work a homicide this weekend.
I want to call her and at least tell her that I love her and always will.