Long time lurker.
1. I came home from work and was on my usual 3rd or 4th cocktail. My kids were building a home-made boat out of sticks, leaves, and whatever they could find in the yard to float on a pond next to the house. Through the screen door I overheard my daughter ask my son if they should come get Dad to help. My son answered "He won't be able to. He's already had a couple bourbons." It broke my heart. Like I had been shot.
2. See #1 above.