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Old 04-01-2011, 11:12 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Tuffgirl
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Wow this should become its own thread...the topic of marriage and recovery and how the two go together and how they don't. I really agree that transparency and rigorous honesty in a marriage are essential. And also essential to recovery...I mean...isn't that what AA says? Rigorous honesty?

Now, correct me if I am misunderstanding this section, but the step that alone22 might be missing is TIME and APPROPRIATENESS, but the expectation of honesty is still a valid one.

Was it appropriate to read her husband's AA writings? Probably not. Can I see why she did? Sure. Should she call him on it now? No. But does she deserve to have a husband who is honest and truthful with her? Yes. Can it be an alcoholic/addict? Not unless that person is truly working a solid recovery, and I mean completely off the substances. Pot is a drug. One is not in recovery if they are smoking pot.

Alone22, sometimes it takes years to get to the rigorous honesty part. You may choose to hang in there or not. Many of us here chose not to wait, because we had spent so much time waiting already and life is calling. Either way, you deserve respect but you have to give it in return. But I agree that a marriage without honesty, trust, and transparency is not a healthy nor happy marriage.

Oops - this was Terry, not Alone...sorry, reading above and not to the beginning! ; )
~T

Last edited by Tuffgirl; 04-01-2011 at 11:19 AM. Reason: misspoke!
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